Ephemeral Smash

I found an old birthday card today, and it read, "What's this?" (Picture of a toilet) Inside the card, "It's your birthday potty. Might as well cut to the chase." Then below that, it read, "Happy Birthday Smash." I stared at the words on the page and engaged myself in all the memories that came with it. I realized that "Smash," my bold and audacious alter-ego, has been quietly receding into the shadows as a more careful and protective Ash emerges. I haven't been aware of the transition until now. But as changes go, I think this one is normal. I've changed living arrangements, jobs, friends ,boss's, reading literature . . . . as I ponder all these adjustments, and the decisions that precipitated them, I see that maybe in my subconscious, and my love-stung heart, these results happened because I realized I needed to advance.