I haven't even put on a bra today

As I sit down to hammer out a post (it's been almost 2 weeks!) I just realized it's 12:30pm and I still haven't put on a bra. I probably won't . . . at least not today! I adore days like these: sleeping in, eating cheesy scrambled eggs, doing laundry at a leisurely pace, vacuuming, watching Lifetime movies on TV, writing thank-you cards to Nordy's mom, listening to Sexy Can I by Ray J, spending hours talking with my sisters and mom and overall being lazy and unproductive. But then again, I deserve it. I spent the whole day yesterday being productive. Josh and I got his car washed and cleaned out, picked up Pearl's new medicine, toured the live-work spaces at The Jefferson in downtown Portland (we decided they're overpriced and not as cute as we'd hoped for), ate snacks and drank Corona's on his back porch, attended a pet-friendly lawn maintenance workshop, made dinner and redesigned my blog banner. (Look up! Isn't it Smashtastic?!?) It was actually way more fun than I had hoped. I love unexpected great days . . . and nights! Yay.

Btw- did anyone watch the draft yesterday? A year ago I would have vehemently denied the possibliity of little Miss Ash missing the draft, but my life has changed quite a bit. Long gone are the days of watching football games all weekend and drinking copious amounts of beer. My Saturday and Sundays are now occupied with "Gardening for your pet" seminars at the Oregon Humane Society. Honestly, I like it. Sometimes I feel like telling the universe, "Are people aware that I'm out here on my own? Like, I'm actually living on my own." See, the whole, being-a-responsible-adult-thing really scares me. I know I am a responsible adult, but I just don't feel like one. I think it's because I'm such a kid at heart . . . and possible because I giggle A LOT. And I still feel like (and sometimes live like) I'm 17. And I'm fickle. And I still like to take pictures of my friends and I drinking. Seriously. It's true.

On to Friday night . . . the best things to say about Friday night are: "Shorts", Echo burgers, Gresham Gutter Sluts, The Dimes, old-rockin'-out hippies, Erica MIA, Josh ditching us, Rhi's new boyfriend with the beautiful smile, etc. If you don't get it then you're definitely not in the cool kids club . . . or maybe you should just click here for the overview.

I hate American Airlines

I'm supposed to be leaving this Saturday for my vacation, but those fools at AA didn't do their due diligence when checking D-80 aircraft wiring . . . so now I'm sitting here wondering if I'll even be able to leave Portland.

Also, I'm getting annoyed that two of my friends have not called me back and I'm wondering if I'll even talk to them before I leave.

Smash is crabby today. :(

(Although I did go out to lunch with the adorable IT guy and enjoyed the best garlic parmesan fries EVER . . . and his delightful company as well!)

I'm going to go home and listen to The Tragically Hip (courtesy of Woolly!) and cry into my wine about how unfair this all is!

The Un-Sexy Blog + 2008 Do-Boy List

Yesterday I told a friend about my blog. My friend was excited to read it. My friend called me back about ½ hour later and said, “Why isn’t there any sex, or more sex details? You allude to so many issues and then . . . don’t deliver!”

Wow. Harsh. And apparently my friend was under the impression the definition of a blog is: a safe place for one to broadcast their sexual fantasies, deviancies and desires. Sorry, that’s not how this blog gets down! (Certain members of my family read this blog.)

For the sex section--- there’s reasoning to it. Duh. It’s because I’m not having sex. (So just rub it in honey!) I’ve been meaning to divulge, but just haven’t had the energy or . . . more honestly, the juicy details to confess. To satiate your (dirty) minds here’s my “Do-Boy” list. And I’m well aware that this list is supposed to consist of purely celebrity “do-boy’s,” but there are many more real boys than celeb-boys that I’d like to do.

My Do Boy list:

Top 5 + reason he made the list
1. Reggie Bush- because is HOT!, HOT!, HOT! and I wish I looked like Kim Kardashian, minus the show-all sex tape.
2. Conan O’Brien- because his hair flip will forever be my mating call.
3. Barack Obama- because he engages his brain. That’s sexy. And . . . HELLOOOOO- he’s going to be THE President who molds this country into a tolerant, healthy, loving, respectful home! Who wouldn’t want to be a muse to that! (Sorry Michelle!)
4. John Stewart- because he called Tucker Carlson a dick. “You know what's interesting, though? You're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.” LOVE HIM.
5. A specific boy who lives on the opposite coast of me- because we’ve never done it, and I bet it would be fun.


If this post isn’t “sexy” enough for you, then you should probably head on over to Citygrrrl for much more explicit and x-rated fun. Tip! If you’re squeamish about “lady issues” skip post “A New Thing” and start at “Something So Simple.”

All About Ash Unabashed

Lately people have been asking me what my blog is about. I tell them . . . my life. I was recently asked to describe my blog in 40 words or less. Here’s what I came up with:

My blog is about my daily life musings in Portland, Oregon including the Pearl District, happy hours, boys, clothes, shopping, events, music, love, my career, cosmetics, books, memes and anything else I need to get off my chest!

Pride vs. Prejudice

In looking at my bedroom this morning, there is a certain sturcture to complete disorganized chaos. Somehow it's orderly. It looks like it's supposed to be there. Like it's taking owenership in all of it's own clutter. But you know if you remove on thing the entire mess will fall. Maybe that's why it's so striking. It's not defiance; it's pride.

The Myth of Us

Reminder to self: Stop listening to Amy Winehouse lyrics while drinking abundant glasses of Willamette Valley Pinot, canonizing an ex-flame and hypothesizing all the reasons why it didn’t work out the way I wanted.

My writing workshop has compelled me:

My love has been alienated. And I know this; recognize my own heartbreak, but the force of him is too strong. Inexplicably, I return, again and again to him, although he offers me no affection or attention and basically says he wants nothing to do with me except his purr of “Ash.” And then every good intention of telling him to fuck off comes undone. I’ve come undone. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not, and will not, love me back.

the Mysteries of Pittsburgh

In preparation for my trip Eastward I was thinking of buying the book, The Mysteries of Pittsburgh. I heard the book was so incredible the rights were sold and a movie was created. Apparently it was released at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah this past February. I finally found the reviews, and they were . . . well . . . harsh. I emailed my buddy, Saw (Seriously, this is the nickname he has. I actually say this when I call him.) who lives in Pittsburgh, to ask if he’s read the book or knows anything about it. This was his hilarious response:

never read it, sounds interesting. the biggest mystery in pittsburgh is why everyone is 5 years behind the rest of the world and why people around here are so close minded.

"Wow, Saw. That really makes me want me visit!" I can’t wait to watch the spectacle that is Pittsburgh. To be fair, I’ll be visiting two Pennsylvania born-and-bred boys, who are 2 of the most thoughtful, compassionate and fucking bizzare people I’ve ever known. And both hold a special place in my heart. I’d have fun with them if we were adventuring in Austraila or just sitting on some basement couch, drinking Yueing Yeling. (Umm, I have no idea how to spell that beer since they don’t even ship it to the West Coast.) But I am looking forward to seeing N’s family, hopefully meeting Saw’s parents, visiting the Andy Warhol Museum, and doing some sightseeing. When N was living out here he once told me that Portland reminded him of Pittsburgh because of all the bridges. That’s one of my favorite things about Portland aka Bridgetown, so I can’t wait to see the similarities.
I’ll also be in Cleveland, OH. Honestly, I’ve never heard anything good about Ohio, except from my friend, Traci, who moved there and she loves it. But I believe there is greatness everywhere and if you’re willing to look there are amazing things to be seen in every city, every town, and in every country.
When I was 16 and flying to visit a close friend, Amanda for a one-week summer trip, everyone kept asking me where I was going. I replied, Oklahoma. People gave me the same response, all with a incredulous and somewhat sour type expression, “Why would you go there? What’s in Oklahoma? Yuck.”
As a somewhat naïve and not very worldly 16 year-old, I asked my mom what the aversion to Oklahoma was. She responded that most people from the NW would think of a vacation in Oklahoma as a “vacation” because of the scenery . . . “There isn’t much to do in Oklahoma. What is Oklahoma known for? People don’t necessary think of Oklahoma as vacation destination.” I really thought about this. Coming from Oregon, whenever I told people where I was from, I’d always been met with excited, complimentary praise of my home state and told how lucky I was to hail from such a green and beautiful state. It made me ponder Amanda’s dilemma. When she told people she was from Oklahoma was she met with the same pitying look? I went on my trip that summer, had a blast (at 16 the important things are malls, boys, and Sonic Dirve-Ins, which Norman, Oklahoma had in spades!) and enjoyed my time with Amanda. But I remember thinking, “I really am lucky to live in such a beautiful and geographically diverse state, but have I really even noticed it?”

Idea of the Day for DIYers

Design Sponge always has such great ideas and tips, but this is my favorite so far. I’ve worked with chalkboard spray paint in the past, using it to spray baby terra cotta pots for party favors, and the middle of a tabletop for a friend’s baby present.

Scroll down in the comments for the “how-to’s” from Lindsay. Once I buy my first house and have a kitchen to call my own, I’m stealing this idea. I love the magnetic primer concept too. All those pesky sticky notes and scraps of paper I scribble reminders on will be clipped in one place. Brilliant.