I MOVED!

Hi All,

I moved ... you can now catch up with my semi-weekly musings at:

AshUnabashed.com

P.S. Be sure to tell me how darling my new blog is!

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Monday Night Dinner

And by night, I actually mean, night. No "evening" about it.

Monday night dinner: Pulled Pork Sandwich with Crunchy Coleslaw on a Brioche Bun
The I used too much dressing with the coleslaw so it came out a little too "slaw-y," but it was still pretty tasty. Although I loose 2 points for not eating dinner until 9pm, and another 2 points for eating while watching Kim Kardashian parade around in a nurse outfit for my future husband, Reggie Bush.

Tomorrow I’m going out to lunch with M and Mel, and I can hardly wait. And my gut will thank me because we’re going out for sushi! Mmmmm. Here I come Okinawa roll!

Current Obsessions

Fortunately, I've been very busy at work writing press releases galore and studying the Chambers US Law Dictionary and the AP StyleGuide. (I know, I know, this doesn't sound like much fun, but I'm learning so much ... and everyone knows I'm actually cheesy enough that I love learning about new things, even law dictionaries.) This is *fortunate* for me so I can take my mind off other, (uh, hum) personal, messy and complicated matters.

I found that I am still occupying my time with my preferred fixations. I have no idea why these things are so prevalent right now, they just are. (Umm, if there's something out there--- please give me a sign before I jump out the window. And if you see fit, more guidance than my current sign of a choice ... a mojito. Thanks.)

A bit of humor in the dark: Current Obsessions

1. Pistachio: the nut, the color & Jell-O pudding.
2. Anyone who calls me Dazzle Pants. Swoon.
3. Chelsea Lately. (All I can say is, "Hi Vodka, are you there? It's me, Chelsea.") Honey, I feel you. My book is titled, "Hi Self-Destruction, are you there? It's me, Ash."
4. Spending obscene amounts of time Googling Travis. I've found out he bought a house in Tualatin. All I can ask is, "Yikes. Why???"
5. My new patent yellow bag.
6. Beef Pho. I'm going to whip up Stephanie's crock pot version that she made last week and I've been dying to try!)
7. Keeping Up With The Kardashians. (Does anyone see a theme here? A cocktail habit + too much E! channel = bad news.)
8. Shopping and cooking. (Yes, I'm going to post dinner pictures again. What has this blog come too? A cooking blog! What? No!)
9. Death Cab for Cutie. (My sister bought us tickets for their upcoming concert at Edgefield and I can't get enough lately.)
10. Peonies & Gladiolas
11. Crying jags. Not depression crying jags. Believe me people, there's a good reason. Like everyone says, "It just takes time." I'll be fine. (But I'm seriously annoying Nordy with my choked up messages requesting a shoulder to cry on.)
12. The Sex and the City movie and the soundtrack. I love it. It has become the soundtrack of my week.
13. Not reading. I can't wrap my mind anything that isn't music ... or apparently the E! channel. (If I start watching Denise Richards, It's Complicated, please someone help. I mean it.)

Friday Night Bites

I've decided to steal from Rhi and post an overview for next week, cause really ... I got nothing right now.

• Last night my Mom and I went to Toro Bravo. Yu-hum. And the ambiance is beautiful. Get the Toro Manhattan for a cocktail. Then the Sangria, grilled dates, Oregon strawberries, and melt-in-your-mouth Drunken Pork with Giant White Beans. OMG. I thought I was in heaven.
• This morning my Mom and I went to the Sex and the City movie. The critics are blasphemous! The movie was good. It could be I thought so highly o f it because I started watching this show when I was 19 and immediately fell in love with Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte. But still, I was crying, gasping and laughing for the entire two hours. (And the clothes, accessories and SHOES were amazing!) And, I love Jennifer Hudson, she's the best!
• I discovered a movie on Lifetime tonight, Normal Adolescent Behavior, that is appalling, scary and lovely at the same time.
• Since I got paid today, and in honor of the SATC movie, I went shoe shopping online and bought two pairs. What do you think? Here's Pair #1 and Pair #2.
• I called an made an appt. today for a facial at Kanani Pearl Spa. Read here about the Kanani Pearl Signature Facial. Doesn't that sound enlightening? (And just for the record ... I normally would never pay that much for a facial, but I received it as a gift from a special friend and I'm WAY excited about the pampering that will be on.)
• Tuesday I'll be dining with my two most talented and fabulous mentor friends, Monica and Melissa. I'm salivating over the advice I'll glean and the conversation I get to participate in. YAY!
• Rhi and I are trying to figure out some time this week to squeeze in bowling and wings. Apparently I'm craving beer and wayward behavior. What's next? NASCAR? Yikes!
• It's my friend, Jeremy's birthday. I think it's a surprise party put on by his finance, Sara, so don't say anything! If you want to know where I'll be tomorrow night--- see you at Mint! I'll be the girl drunkenly singing, "May you live a thousand years, may you drink a thousand beers . . . get plastered you BAD BOY, happy birthday to you!"
• Wednesday I'll be in a private event room at a posh eatery in SW from 4pm until 9pm. My company is hosting a Women's Event on (paraphrasing here!) working/handling/dealing with "Difficult People." This is ironic because the nationally recognized famous speaker who we've hired speak at this event is difficult to deal with. Frustrating and funny at the same time.
• I gave myself THE CUTEST pedicure and matching manicure. How can you go wrong with the color: I'm India Mood For Love?
• Tomorrow morning I'm going swimming in my Aunt J's pool. It's heated and in a pool house. Lucky me.
• I spoke with Nordy today and fun news ensued. He bought a new SUV and had a hilarious story about the STP concert in Columbus, OH that him and his buddies attended. It started normally and ended up with 30 packs and jumping over barbed-wire fences (um, yes, we're actually in our twenties, not 17, so I don't know what to say), and 2 girls and 1 Madame from an escort service. Yep, that good. He'd kill me if I spilled on this blog. So I can't go any further.
• On Thursday my aunt and I are hosting a Drinks, Dinner and Dialogue event with 5 special women that we love. In case you want to stalk 7 beautiful women, we'll be at Lucca. Please feel free to stalk us if you're single, handsome and free of "issues." (Basically it's just an excuse to drink well-made cocktails, eat authentic Italian food, all the while gossiping with our favorite friends.) Sounds fun, huh. Don't you wish you were invited?!!!

That's it. Going to bed. Have a good weekend!

On the side: Ash Unabashed's Red Bliss Potato Salad

Potato Love: A picture of my delectable dinner tonight. Yum, yim, yum!

I got home from work a tab bit late tonight (around 7pm). I had been planning to make my famous Red Bliss Potato Salad, but was so tired ... so I told myself, "Buck up!" I had just gone to the grocery store yesterday and bought my little menagerie of fresh ingredients and wanted to create my masterpiece while everything was crisp and new ... and while I was still craving the mouthwatering combination of Danish bleu cheese, bacon, potatoes, chives and secret ingredients!

By the time I sat down to dinner tonight it was 9pm, but it didn't matter because I was in heaven! I made extra for lunch tomorrow too. Lucky me.

I recently re-read the one of my favorite books, Alone in the Kitchen with an Eggplant. It reminded me that instead of returning home, plopping myself down and eating a bowl of cereal and Ben & Jerry's frozen yogurt, I need to remember how much pleasure I get from making something I love to eat. Even if it's just one weird item. Or roasted asparagus with a Dijon vinaigrette. Or tequila-grilled shrimp with spicy rice and cayenne pepper mango slices. Or ... my famous Red Bliss Potato Salad. It doesn't need to be an entire meal (i.e. protein, carb, sugar, etc.) to derive enjoyment or fulfill me with satisfaction and validation. Does that sound crazy? Validation from a potato???Actually, it has more to do with acceptance, gratification and relishing what is important to you!

What's your favorite meal to make when you're eating solo and cooking for yourself? Tell me, what does your mouth love?

Generation X vs. Generation Y (Seriously? Is there even a fight? Umm, we have iPods, the internet and gourmet happy hours. We win.)

I'm sure you all heard about the story of Kevin Colvin a few months ago? If not, quick recap--- Kevin was a twenty-something Gen Y'er who worked at a bank, wrote his boss an email declaring a family emergency and stating he must return home, and lo and behold, his lame boss trolls the internet (and more specifically his Facebook page), finds pictures of him partying in Fairy suit at a Halloween party instead of mourning the "family emergency" and writes a response to his email, attaching the incriminating pic, adding the text, "Cool wand.", and then BCC's the entire company. What an asshat. I remember telling one of my friends about this a couple months back and he said, "What a loser," and I responded in harmony with, "I know! He sounds like Bitter Boss, how lame of him to stalk his Facebook page." Silence. Then my friend said, "I was talking about the kid who lied, ditched work to party, and wore a fucking fairy costume." Oops. Need I mention this "friend" is a guy, and about 6 years older than me? Touche.

Back to the reason of this post! A Generation Xer, Robert Lanham (ugh, even his name sounds old! It doesn't hold a light to Generation Y names like, Ryan, Justin & Drew), responded to this expose' with a funny (although somewhat whiny, bitter and pathetic) article about the unsung virtues of Generation X, and how Generation Y is overly entitled, spoiled, coddled . . . and they basically suck. I'll admit, some of his words ring true, but the writing seems more targeted at the Baby Boomers who didn't give Generation X their due, less about why Generation Y doesn't deserve the praise their receiving, and reads a lot like good 'ole green-eyed jealousy. Read the article here.

The only reason I knew about the aforementioned article is because I was doing my due diligence on Radar (one of my favorite sarcastic websites) and came across this article by Alex Pareene. Hello? Rhi? Are you out there? Just so you know ... I have a new hero and new add to my Do Boy List. I HEART ALEX PAREENE! He totally whipped Robert's asshat article with biting honesty, cheekiness and best of all ... brand new, one-liner ironic statements that are usually reserved for trendy tshirts modeled by celebutards in Hollywood. Classic.

My favorite quote from Alex Pareene's article. (This pretty much sums up everything.)

I'm sorry Time made fun of your generation. But, guys, it's Time. Don't worry
about it—we Millennials made it irrelevant. We're killing print! You think we
want Morley Safer calling us the Next Greatest Generation? We don't know who
Morley Safer is!

(And just so you all know . . . . I'm Generation Y. Does that kill you!)

Crafts, cupcakes and me

I've been a good little dew and haven't spent money on things I don't need. But after not being able to sleep early this morning and perusing all sorts of crafty websites, I must admit, I'm tempted. See below:

Ivey Handcrafted ::: Ivey Handcrafted is from Chattanooga, TN and has darling felted items, like custom baby blankets, petite leaf hair clips and personalized onesies. She's basically sold-out of everything, so I'm waiting in anticipation for her to restock those brooches and barrettes. Happy days for my pocketbook, sad times for my coat and hair.

Chet and Dot ::: Chet and Dot are LOCAL! They are Portland, Oregon greols and so-so-so indescribably cute. Every new baby that comes along will be receiving either a Flannel Cupcake Zip-up or a Sleepy Bunny Plush to match the Fuzzy Bunny Booties from Rhi In Pink.

While I'm waiting for Michelle and our Bend adventure to begin, I think I'll whip up some chocolate cupcakes with white frosting. It's that kind of day. I'm very excited for Death Cab and The Decemberists, but I'm also excited to come home and "nest." I have the overwhelming urge to stay home, color-code my closet, make Smash's Famous Macaroni & Cheese, write cute letters to friends, embroider, mop my floors, organize my make-up and watch Lifetime while re-reading Mansfield Park by Jane Austen. Yipee! I just realized I have an extra day to do it all! :)

Wish me luck over those mountains! I'm happy for my fun weekend to begin! xoxo

You're invited!

Rhi and I are attending this in honor of my birthday in a few weeks! Are you coming ... ???

If you'd like to join the cutest girls in town, RSVP here: http://eroi5.com/

Jennsylvania here I come!

Tonight two funs things are happening to me this evening. I'm meeting Rhi for HH at Ten 01 in the Pearl, and then we're walking over to Powell's for a reading by author, Jen Lancaster, who's written Bright Lights, Big Ass and (my favorite!) Bitter Is the New Black. She is on a book tour for her new read, Such a Pretty Fat. I'm very excited. I'm not sure if I'm more excited to eat Ten 01's cheeseburger sliders and truffle fries, or to actually see Jen and listen to her read. I'm funny about readings. I'm a die-hard Wordstock fan, but I'm hinky about listening to authors read their own work. I know it's supposed to be a big deal to hear them read because you're truly hearing their character voice and how they envision the work to read in their head, but sometimes it's a real turnoff. Probably because I don't want to know how it comes across in their head, I want to make sense in mine. Still excited. Yay- I get to see an author. If it was Steve Almond I'd be going bullshit right now. Seriously. I want to marry that guy and have millions of his babies, all deep, instense and with a dark sense of humor.

I was gone at the beach from Friday to Monday morning. I had cell coverage for about 1 minute on Saturday ... and then nothing. It was actually nice to get away from being so connected.

What did you this weekend? I bet Woolly enjoyed his Canadian holiday! We have an American holiday this upcoming Monday, Memorial Day. It was established as a war veteran holiday, but I bet if you asked 5 highschoolers why we take this holiday they'd say it was to BBQ. That's what Memorial Day weekend is known for: BBQing. And it celebrates the begining of summer. I have no idea what remembering veterans and BBQing have in common, but I'll be in Bend listening to the music of Death Cab and The Decemberists. What will you be doing? BBQing?

Nighttime at North 45

At the end of my dashing from Albany to Portland, I found time last night to meet up with Tarot Boy at North 45 and we noshed on Stout-infused mussels, pomme frites and Belgian beer. (Then on to vodka crans for me!) Our time was fine, but something was missing. I'm not sure what it was . . . but I could tell and I'm pretty sure he could too. Maybe it was the conversation? Or lack of goofiness that was evident on our previous date? Or simply bad lighting?!?!?!? Frankly, I don't care. It was "ok" fun and I'm happy I went but I don't think he'll call again and even if he did I probably wouldn't go out with him because I get that "friend" vibe and I don't want to travel down that road again right now.

On a brighter note, I'm very excited for summer and all things girly and fun. Like Rhi's gala this weekend and Blondie's new, self-imposed label, YSB! In honor of summer, and because I'm a Summer Baby (as The Mom has always called me), I'm making a New Summer Resolution. (And I'm also trying to be thrifty because I want to buy a house next year and can't find anything less than 300k that is remotely inhabitable.)

New Summer Resolution List

• Saving $ by not going to more than 2 Happy Hours a week
• Saving $ by not eating out more than 2 times a week
• Getting healthier by talking walks in the evening
• Saving $ by extending Maytripping Month to all Summer months (i.e. not spending $ on things I don't ABSOLUTELY need) Btw- I'm buying a new pair of sunglasses this weekend because I accidentally broke mine, but I ABSOLUTELY need a new pair.
• Getting healthier by listening to my intuition and visiting my new Life Coach, the amazing Susan, in NW
• Getting healthier by spending more time with my girlfriends and myself
• Getting rid of bad relationships/habits/attitudes (dudes who don't care about me and only care what I can do for THEM, unhealthy friendships with girls who cuss me out when I can't attend their destination wedding, and so on ...)
• Watching more movies- I just threw this one in there because I have a list of 30 movies I want to see, but probably never will

Also, I have an idea. Actually I stole a version of it from person's website! GUEST BLOGGING! But I want to do mine with a CD. Explanation: I'll make a mixed CD (soooooooooooo reminiscent of high school!), send it you, you write a review about the CD (Or just about how great and fabulous you think I am) and then I'll post it on my blog. Rhi is first, but who will be 2nd? Or 3rd? OR EVEN 4th? Whoever is in. . . email me! We'll set it up! Can't wait!!!

McHottie Tarot Boy

He called.

I’m over the moon. Yes, folks, he called back for a 2nd run at Ash Unabashed. He wanted to know if I could get together tomorrow night or Friday night, but alas, I have plans with Michelle on Thursday (you simply cannot cancel an anxiously awaited Girl’s Happy Hour), and on Friday I’m off to Albany for Mother’s Day Weekend. I told him I’d be home on Sunday and we could get together then . . . (said musically with a slight lilt of flirtation in my voice and hope in my words)?!?!?!?!? He said he was going back to his parents house in Washington on Saturday and took the day off on Monday, but he'd be back on Monday night, so maybe next Tuesday? I said, "Yes." (At an alarmingly fast rate--- I hope that didn't sound desperate).

I'm so happy about this progression. I love looking forward to things. Anything really, but especially new friends and new boys. It's the absolute best to expect the unexpected and have butterflies of anticipation for days. I can't help it- I'm grinning like a fool.

This turn of events couldn't have come at a better time, because there's a little relational demise going on in another relationship . . . and how does the old adage go? . . . . "The quickest way to get over one guy is to find another!" Looks like I've found boy #2.

Is everyone ready for Mother's Day? I am . . . almost. I don't have my cards yet, but I did order an assortment of potting flowers for my mother. I'm picking them up on the way out of town and on Saturday we're going to plant them together in all the pots on her large cherrywood deck off the back of the house. After Happy Hour with Michelle tonight I'm going to get the Mother's Day cards, and I may, just maybe treat myself to a movie! Does anyone else do that? I think I've gone to see a movie by myself once . . . and I don't know why I haven't done it more. It makes more sense to see a movie alone than it does with someone else- so I don't know why I've never really done it. There's a cheesy romantic comedy that I want to see, so I thought this morning, "Why not?!!!" Wish me luck!

Also, I have a very close guy friend who came out of nowhere this past week and has been giving me the best advice of my life! He's been checking in on me. (People, I needed to be checked-in on . . . I think he started to get worried when he said, "Keep on trucking buddy, when God closes a door, he always opens a window." And I responded with, "Yah, so you have something to jump out of." Yep, my week has been a little rough.) I thought the first two phone calls were a fluke, but he called me again last night and it was amazing how reassured I felt after we hung up. Attention and affection are not his strong suits so it's pretty amazing that I've heard from him 3 times already this week. Sometimes we go for a week or longer without talking. I hope he knows how much I appreciate his support and advice. He's right .. . . he usually does know what's best for me! (Because most of the time I certainly don't!)

P.S.

Still haven't heard from Tarot Boy. (((Me: wishing people didn't have to play games like the 3-day-waiting-rule.))) Also, I wish it would be ok, if you think someone is cool, to just call them the next day and say, "I had so much fun with you Friday night. Let's get together for coffee and sex. Does that sound good to you?"

More annoyed

Today did not start well for me. I was cozily snuggled down in my bed having a dream about Reggie Bush (minus anything whatsoever having to do with Kim Kardashian), when someone knocked on my door. It woke me up and then startled me. IT'S 7:08 ON A SUNDAY MORNING PEOPLE! I was so excited about sleeping in today because yesterday morning I was awoken at 6:30am by my upstairs neighbor's children running amok. I sat up in bed and froze, listening intently for the knocking again. "Knock, knock, knock." Amazed at what I was hearing, I jumped up and and locked myself in the bathroom. (Way to take on the bad guys Ash!) Then . . . . silence. I came out of the bathroom, rounded the corner, peeked out the side of my front window and then . . . . unlocked, and cracked the door open, tea kettle in my hand so I could smack someone upside the head if needed. And guess who it was . .. . NO ONE. This perplexes me and bothers me at the same time. What knucklehead would come to my apartment at 7am, and what the hell could be so important they couldn't call first??? Since I've been hanging out with, and speaking to boys A LOT recently, I realize there are many things that make NO SENSE WHATSOEVER, so you shouldn't stand around wondering, "What the hell just happened," you should act like a dude and think, "Oh well . .. . hmmm . . . that cold pizza sounds good . . . . . I wonder if there's a hockey recap on ESPN . . . . I bet that girl I met last night with the huge boobs would have sex with me." Do you get my point?
Moving on . . .

List of action-items to get started on early today:

1. Finish Nordy's thank you card
2. Re-vamp budget (This is a blog post in the making---- I've actually given myself my a very strict budget to abide by this month---- not much room for even happy hours, let alone shows, dinners out, movies, new clothes and shoes and music. I can do it for one month, right!?!?!?!)
3. Clean and scrub bathroom
4. Clean out refrigerator (Sadly, this hasn't been done in 3 weeks. My mom would be disgusted.)
5. Weekly sheet washing
6. Vacuum apartment (Lug vacuum back OUT of Jeep. See post below for my pissiness about this.)
7. Change purses. (I actually need to swap out my Winter purse collection for my Spring purse collection.)
8. Unpack final and last box from move. (Let's just remember that I've been living here since November 2007. I think I still have delusions that if I keep that one box packed then I everything in my life actually didn't fall apart the way I thought it did 6 months ago.
9. Pay bills. (Luckily for me, I do almost all my bills as auto-payment and all I have to do double check my online account once a month, record payment in my register and I'm set. This is extremely helpful now that U.S. postage has skyrocketed to 49cents per regular size letter. For those of you who aren't aware, this is the same price as a SKOR bar. "Hmmm, I could buy my favorite candy bar or mail my gas bill." (Yep- this is actually how my mind works.)
10. Re-organize closet. (I've been meaning to do this for awhile now. I think I'm up to 80 pairs of shoes, most of which I haven't worn in a loooooong time, and I can hardly stuff my laundered clothes into my closet anymore, not to mention there' s never enough hangers, so it sounds like it's time for a trip to Goodwill!)

Did you see "dusting" on my list. Of course not! I hate dusting. I do break down once a month and quickly Swiffer all surface tops, but I'm sure it wouldn't be up to Zo standards.

Also, I'd like to watch a Lifetime move and bake bread today.

Apparently I must be going because it looks as if I have many things on my "to-do" list today!

He's fun, but he KNOWS he's fun.

Once upon a time there was a girl . . . let's call her Lambchop, LC for short. LC had many friends. She loved her friends and always tried to accommodate, help and love them as best she could. One weekend she volunteered to help one of her friends clean his basement. LC thought it would be a fun home project and saw her friend needed help in organizing his house for a future tenant. Let's call him Asshat.

When Asshat had called earlier that morning and requested LC bring her vacuum over, she didn't even bat an eyelash. She simply lugged and loaded.

LC was expecting a fun dinner and possibly going out to see a movie after a day of basement cleaning because Asshat had pinkie-promised her earlier in the week he would go to a movie with her after their day of cleaning, hauling, organizing and dumping HIS SHIT. However, Asshat rudely informed LC that he already had plans for the night, and not only did he not invite her, he paraded around in various outfits while she hauled boxes of his ex's shit outside for him. LC was starting to get annoyed. And not even annoyed at his appalling behavior and misplaced manners, but more annoyed at his ego and conceit, and complete lack of respect for our heroine, Lambchop.

(The story gets better folks.)

And to add injury to insult, after working with him for several hours and being ordered around, LC was hungry, and hoping to wind down and maybe get some yummy Chinese takeout. However, Asshat gave LC two choices: Burgerville or Pizza. (Yes really. Uh-huh, I'm serious. Really.)

After LC cleaned up their Burgerville meal and fetched her jacket, purse, and Cosmo magazine she told Asshat she was leaving, and he responded by saying, "I thought we were going to work more." LC gave in, took off her jacket, put down her purse and headed back downstairs as Asshat requested she move more boxes outside. As LC moved about 10 boxes up and down the stairs and outside, Asshat changed clothes 3 times, as mentioned above. By the time Asshat was done with his fashion show, LC had moved all the boxes outside. (As I re-read this, Lambchop sounds more and more like a fucking chump.)

The worst part of this story is that LC took it. She let him insult her in the worst way possible and did not stand up for herself. Lambchop decided to leave on the premise that, "Everything is fine." Even when both Asshat and Lambchop knew she was upset. Another "worst part" . . . he let her leave, and is probably enjoying his night and not giving it two thoughts, while Lambchop is bitterly typing away.

It dawned on LC that after two weeks of being taken advantage of, she really was, . . . pissed. (Travel back in time a week and Asshat ditched LC and one of her favoritest friends, Rhi in Pink to hit on 21 year old sluts.) Lambchop had gotten so comfortable with Asshat she had let her guard down and put him on a pedestal, and he had gone right ahead and taken advantage of that. A very savvy girl once told Lambchop about Asshat, "Be careful. He's fun, but he knows he's fun." LC had forgotten that warning, but after tonight . . . . she is very aware.

The return of the tin man

I was just catching up on Blondie's blog, and came across her "Post-It" posting! It reminded me of one of our Associate's workstation a couple weeks ago. Rumor has it it was a bunch of oompa-loompa's . . . . his Blackberry and even his recycle bin got it too! (Try not to think of how much aluminum was wasted, and instead picture all the emotions that flashed over his face when he opened his office door!)

Details of Date Night

I reluctantly agreed to go on a blind date tonight (set up by my eyebrow waxer) and was pleasantly surprised! I just got home and actually had a incredibly fun time.

We started out the evening meeting at Kalga Kafe (they lose one point for the annoying alliterative use) having a cocktail . . . umm, you all know me, I'll be honest, it was actually two. I've never been to Kalga before and it was awesome. I didn't realize it was a vegetarian/vegan spot, but once you get inside it's really cozy--- dark red walls and lots of candles and windows. The bar is really cute too. The drinks were awesome, very creative and tasty and we ordered the samosas and they were phenom. I want to come back and try some of their other dishes too. I love, love, love the falafel at Madena in the Pearl, but Kalga's falafel looks mighty tasty--- we might have a strong contender for Portland's Best Fafafel.

After Kalga I was feeling a baby bit tipsy, slightly silly and alotta giggly. Best part---- I was making him CRACK UP. Ladies and gentlemen . . . this is when he wooed me. He made appointments for us to get our tarots read! OMG- it was so amazing. Jadiza was our prophetic medium and told me great things like:

• I'm at a major crossroads in a influential relationship in my life
• I let fear guide my decisions too much, and I put too much passionate energy into situations that I know will not work out the way I want them to
• I have a ultimatums I need to deal with in my life
• I often don't do anything and let problems or issues sit for awhile because I don't like dealing with them
• I need to learn to trust my intuition more
• THE BEST PART- I chose a very rare card for the "Outside Influences" position. It signified karmaic balance in external forces around me. J told me that this is a great opportunity for me and a somewhat precious one. There is all this balanced, positive energy around me and I need to recognize it and use it. It's there for my benefit, but I tend not to notice (or probably simply ignore it) and haven't been taking advantage of it. It's adundant and I should be using this "karmic balance" to empower myself and strength my inner self.

Whoo-hooo! The news was good. I just have to figure out what crossroads I'm at and make the right decision!
After our readings we headed out to Pambiche for dinner. It was the perfect atmosphere after the somber and earthy tarot shop- bright, loud, crowded and fun. We put our names on the list and waited outside by the heaters while sipping a glass of sangria. He told me about his childhood in Monroe, Washington. Sounded idyllic and similar to mine- doting mom, close siblings and crazy family drama at times. We finally got a table outside and ordered Cuban sandwiches and more sangria. We talked more about his job (Research Analyst for Wachovia) and my utter lack of understanding at what he does. I actually said, "Umm, I don't know what that means." I think most guys would probably think, "I thought you were smart!" But he tried to patiently explain it and smiled. And then he turned to me and said quixotically, "How do you market a law firm? Now it's my turn to be confused." (LOVE HIM!) After our dinner was finished he insisted on dessert because he has a sweet tooth. At this time I was partially drunk, and wanted to pull the whole, "I'll give you something for your sweet tooth!" But Polite & Polished Ash raised her heckles and reminded Tipsy, Flirty, Sexually-Frustrated Ash to behave herself. Then I panicked. [Note to webfriends: You might not know this about me, but I have a rule about sharing desserts with boys. My rule is: I won't. I have this weird issue with sharing dessert. The only way I'll share dessert with a male is if I'm related to him (i.e. my dad or cousin) or if he's unequivocally at boyfriend status. Here's my thing about this practice: dessert is a very intimate dish and I don't share that with "just friends" or boys I don't know. I take it very seriously. I'm serious. I'm weird about this. It feels awkward to share something so sensual and evocative with just anyone. I kind of equate dessert with orgasms . . . and I'm not gonig to come with just anyone. Get it? Now you understand why I was panicking!] I feigned an aversion to all things lemony (this is a half-truth, I acutally hate lemon mereinge pie), and ordered an espresso instead.

After dinner we walked a few blocks north to Laurelthirst Pub, grabbed a table and listened to the funk sounds of a mature gentleman named, Baby Gramps. (I'm being facetious.) But this guy is pretty incredible. He plays crazy-ass instruments like washboards and homemade xylophones. Apparently he was also featured on one of the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtracks. That seems to reflect his personality: an old pirate with funny stories who has lived a hard and fast life. The pub was cozy and me and the boy sat close. Things were certainly heating up between us--- at least I thought they were! Around 11pm I decided I needed to head home before I got hopped up and started making bad decsions. He walked me to my car and gave me a hug and then >>>>>>>> whoops >>>>>>>> I didn't know if he was going to kiss me and I thought he might, but then . . . the moment was there and then . . . . gone . . . and nothing. But then . . . he leaned back in . . . AND GAVE ME ANOTHER HUG. Hmmmm, perplexing behavior. This doesn't bode well for me. It seems to me, in my experiences and the experiences of my friends, guys know what they want and most go after it. Meaning, if you're friends with a dude, chances are, he just wants to be friends. If he wanted more he'd act on it. This is bad news for Ash. No offense to all the great guys out there ,.. . . . but I need another guy friend just like I need another hole in the head. I need to get laid, and I WANT a boyfriend. I've got plenty of buddies who I can hang out with and listen to their asshat-ness and creepy reviews of every pair of female boobs between the age of 16-50.

After that uncomfortable and gauche (at least on my side) exchange (of course, he didn't seem to notice anything amiss!) I hopped inside my car and down the hill I went, back to my apartment sweet apartment. In retrospect, it was a fun night. I actually enjoyed the boy and I honestly think he had fun too. It might not have been a love connection on his part but we still had a pleasant night and lots of smiles. This is the part where I'm supposed to say, "Even if we're not a match, I've just made a new friend." If you're still delusional enough to think I'll revert to that, please see the bottom half of the above paragraph and remember my aforementioned hostility towards new boys who only want to be friends. Yep, you got it- not going to happen. So I won't even pretend that I'm going to be friends with him. About the time he calls me to ask if I want to grab a beer, watch the game and give him girl advice (meaning a girl other than me), he's officially on the Homie Hit List. Let's stay positive and pray for Ash that he'll call by Monday and ask her out for a mid-week happy hour at a swank place like, Bluehour or the VQ. PRAY HARD PEOPLE- I LIKE THIS GUY!

By the way, one of those amazing things happened this morning when I woke up. My tooth was still hurting, but by the time I got out of the shower the pain was barely discernible and then . . . magic . . . I had one of the best hair and make-up days of my life. And it wasn't just me who noticed. When I got on the elevator in my building this morning, McLawyer said, "You look good this morning, and you smell good too." WHAT?!?!?!!? I was totally stunned. Then when I got to my office Kristen was like, "You look great this morning! Your hair is so beautiful ((((more gushing about my pretty hair))). Did you have sex last night? You look . . . satisfied." So see, it was one of those miraculous days!

Are my blog friends wondering why I didn't make mention of this date before now? Don't feel jealous--- just confirm with Rhi--- I didn't tell ANYONE about it! I was expecting the worse and didn't want to have share the horror story when it was complete. This might be a good formula . . . note to self: track ROI on dating methodology.

All in all, this was a very positive experience, but I'm not going to get my hopes up because of that weird double-hug thing. Do you know what I'm talking about?!?!?!?!!!! Speaking of, what was your best blind date? Have you even had a good blind date? If not, gimme your worst blind date story! I really haven't gone on many blind dates; just in the last year did I branch out to this. My last one was terrible, but apparently my luck is changing . . . here's to karmic balances!

I haven't even put on a bra today

As I sit down to hammer out a post (it's been almost 2 weeks!) I just realized it's 12:30pm and I still haven't put on a bra. I probably won't . . . at least not today! I adore days like these: sleeping in, eating cheesy scrambled eggs, doing laundry at a leisurely pace, vacuuming, watching Lifetime movies on TV, writing thank-you cards to Nordy's mom, listening to Sexy Can I by Ray J, spending hours talking with my sisters and mom and overall being lazy and unproductive. But then again, I deserve it. I spent the whole day yesterday being productive. Josh and I got his car washed and cleaned out, picked up Pearl's new medicine, toured the live-work spaces at The Jefferson in downtown Portland (we decided they're overpriced and not as cute as we'd hoped for), ate snacks and drank Corona's on his back porch, attended a pet-friendly lawn maintenance workshop, made dinner and redesigned my blog banner. (Look up! Isn't it Smashtastic?!?) It was actually way more fun than I had hoped. I love unexpected great days . . . and nights! Yay.

Btw- did anyone watch the draft yesterday? A year ago I would have vehemently denied the possibliity of little Miss Ash missing the draft, but my life has changed quite a bit. Long gone are the days of watching football games all weekend and drinking copious amounts of beer. My Saturday and Sundays are now occupied with "Gardening for your pet" seminars at the Oregon Humane Society. Honestly, I like it. Sometimes I feel like telling the universe, "Are people aware that I'm out here on my own? Like, I'm actually living on my own." See, the whole, being-a-responsible-adult-thing really scares me. I know I am a responsible adult, but I just don't feel like one. I think it's because I'm such a kid at heart . . . and possible because I giggle A LOT. And I still feel like (and sometimes live like) I'm 17. And I'm fickle. And I still like to take pictures of my friends and I drinking. Seriously. It's true.

On to Friday night . . . the best things to say about Friday night are: "Shorts", Echo burgers, Gresham Gutter Sluts, The Dimes, old-rockin'-out hippies, Erica MIA, Josh ditching us, Rhi's new boyfriend with the beautiful smile, etc. If you don't get it then you're definitely not in the cool kids club . . . or maybe you should just click here for the overview.

I hate American Airlines

I'm supposed to be leaving this Saturday for my vacation, but those fools at AA didn't do their due diligence when checking D-80 aircraft wiring . . . so now I'm sitting here wondering if I'll even be able to leave Portland.

Also, I'm getting annoyed that two of my friends have not called me back and I'm wondering if I'll even talk to them before I leave.

Smash is crabby today. :(

(Although I did go out to lunch with the adorable IT guy and enjoyed the best garlic parmesan fries EVER . . . and his delightful company as well!)

I'm going to go home and listen to The Tragically Hip (courtesy of Woolly!) and cry into my wine about how unfair this all is!

The Un-Sexy Blog + 2008 Do-Boy List

Yesterday I told a friend about my blog. My friend was excited to read it. My friend called me back about ½ hour later and said, “Why isn’t there any sex, or more sex details? You allude to so many issues and then . . . don’t deliver!”

Wow. Harsh. And apparently my friend was under the impression the definition of a blog is: a safe place for one to broadcast their sexual fantasies, deviancies and desires. Sorry, that’s not how this blog gets down! (Certain members of my family read this blog.)

For the sex section--- there’s reasoning to it. Duh. It’s because I’m not having sex. (So just rub it in honey!) I’ve been meaning to divulge, but just haven’t had the energy or . . . more honestly, the juicy details to confess. To satiate your (dirty) minds here’s my “Do-Boy” list. And I’m well aware that this list is supposed to consist of purely celebrity “do-boy’s,” but there are many more real boys than celeb-boys that I’d like to do.

My Do Boy list:

Top 5 + reason he made the list
1. Reggie Bush- because is HOT!, HOT!, HOT! and I wish I looked like Kim Kardashian, minus the show-all sex tape.
2. Conan O’Brien- because his hair flip will forever be my mating call.
3. Barack Obama- because he engages his brain. That’s sexy. And . . . HELLOOOOO- he’s going to be THE President who molds this country into a tolerant, healthy, loving, respectful home! Who wouldn’t want to be a muse to that! (Sorry Michelle!)
4. John Stewart- because he called Tucker Carlson a dick. “You know what's interesting, though? You're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.” LOVE HIM.
5. A specific boy who lives on the opposite coast of me- because we’ve never done it, and I bet it would be fun.


If this post isn’t “sexy” enough for you, then you should probably head on over to Citygrrrl for much more explicit and x-rated fun. Tip! If you’re squeamish about “lady issues” skip post “A New Thing” and start at “Something So Simple.”

All About Ash Unabashed

Lately people have been asking me what my blog is about. I tell them . . . my life. I was recently asked to describe my blog in 40 words or less. Here’s what I came up with:

My blog is about my daily life musings in Portland, Oregon including the Pearl District, happy hours, boys, clothes, shopping, events, music, love, my career, cosmetics, books, memes and anything else I need to get off my chest!

Pride vs. Prejudice

In looking at my bedroom this morning, there is a certain sturcture to complete disorganized chaos. Somehow it's orderly. It looks like it's supposed to be there. Like it's taking owenership in all of it's own clutter. But you know if you remove on thing the entire mess will fall. Maybe that's why it's so striking. It's not defiance; it's pride.

The Myth of Us

Reminder to self: Stop listening to Amy Winehouse lyrics while drinking abundant glasses of Willamette Valley Pinot, canonizing an ex-flame and hypothesizing all the reasons why it didn’t work out the way I wanted.

My writing workshop has compelled me:

My love has been alienated. And I know this; recognize my own heartbreak, but the force of him is too strong. Inexplicably, I return, again and again to him, although he offers me no affection or attention and basically says he wants nothing to do with me except his purr of “Ash.” And then every good intention of telling him to fuck off comes undone. I’ve come undone. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not, and will not, love me back.

the Mysteries of Pittsburgh

In preparation for my trip Eastward I was thinking of buying the book, The Mysteries of Pittsburgh. I heard the book was so incredible the rights were sold and a movie was created. Apparently it was released at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah this past February. I finally found the reviews, and they were . . . well . . . harsh. I emailed my buddy, Saw (Seriously, this is the nickname he has. I actually say this when I call him.) who lives in Pittsburgh, to ask if he’s read the book or knows anything about it. This was his hilarious response:

never read it, sounds interesting. the biggest mystery in pittsburgh is why everyone is 5 years behind the rest of the world and why people around here are so close minded.

"Wow, Saw. That really makes me want me visit!" I can’t wait to watch the spectacle that is Pittsburgh. To be fair, I’ll be visiting two Pennsylvania born-and-bred boys, who are 2 of the most thoughtful, compassionate and fucking bizzare people I’ve ever known. And both hold a special place in my heart. I’d have fun with them if we were adventuring in Austraila or just sitting on some basement couch, drinking Yueing Yeling. (Umm, I have no idea how to spell that beer since they don’t even ship it to the West Coast.) But I am looking forward to seeing N’s family, hopefully meeting Saw’s parents, visiting the Andy Warhol Museum, and doing some sightseeing. When N was living out here he once told me that Portland reminded him of Pittsburgh because of all the bridges. That’s one of my favorite things about Portland aka Bridgetown, so I can’t wait to see the similarities.
I’ll also be in Cleveland, OH. Honestly, I’ve never heard anything good about Ohio, except from my friend, Traci, who moved there and she loves it. But I believe there is greatness everywhere and if you’re willing to look there are amazing things to be seen in every city, every town, and in every country.
When I was 16 and flying to visit a close friend, Amanda for a one-week summer trip, everyone kept asking me where I was going. I replied, Oklahoma. People gave me the same response, all with a incredulous and somewhat sour type expression, “Why would you go there? What’s in Oklahoma? Yuck.”
As a somewhat naïve and not very worldly 16 year-old, I asked my mom what the aversion to Oklahoma was. She responded that most people from the NW would think of a vacation in Oklahoma as a “vacation” because of the scenery . . . “There isn’t much to do in Oklahoma. What is Oklahoma known for? People don’t necessary think of Oklahoma as vacation destination.” I really thought about this. Coming from Oregon, whenever I told people where I was from, I’d always been met with excited, complimentary praise of my home state and told how lucky I was to hail from such a green and beautiful state. It made me ponder Amanda’s dilemma. When she told people she was from Oklahoma was she met with the same pitying look? I went on my trip that summer, had a blast (at 16 the important things are malls, boys, and Sonic Dirve-Ins, which Norman, Oklahoma had in spades!) and enjoyed my time with Amanda. But I remember thinking, “I really am lucky to live in such a beautiful and geographically diverse state, but have I really even noticed it?”

Idea of the Day for DIYers

Design Sponge always has such great ideas and tips, but this is my favorite so far. I’ve worked with chalkboard spray paint in the past, using it to spray baby terra cotta pots for party favors, and the middle of a tabletop for a friend’s baby present.

Scroll down in the comments for the “how-to’s” from Lindsay. Once I buy my first house and have a kitchen to call my own, I’m stealing this idea. I love the magnetic primer concept too. All those pesky sticky notes and scraps of paper I scribble reminders on will be clipped in one place. Brilliant.

I have a cold

I haven't posted in several days because I've been SO SICK. You would think if you're home for two entire days, feeling like shit, with a runny nose, sore throat, body aches, coughing yourself into an early aneurysm, you would have plenty of time to write in your blog. Right? Wrong! I could barely drag myself out of bed to take a shower, let alone stomach the thought of drumming up enough brain capacity to type sentences with coherence. To top it off, I had to miss a spectacular party last night with my friends Rhi, Josh, Kara, Jeremy, Amy, etc. Boo-hoo. :( And the cherry on the cake, I'm SO OVER BEING SICK! Just like an ex-boyfriend, I want to roll my eyes and tell this cold, "God, go away already."

I have two questions for you this gloomy Saturday morning. My first question lifted my spirits yesterday, but still has me racking my brain this morning.

Question #1) Do you know who sent me a fun gift at work yesterday? The card said, "Get Well Soon. Thinking of you." If you are the person who sent this "surprise" please reveal yourself so you I can give you a proper hug and kiss (after I recover from my cold, of course!) for TOTALLY making my day! I have questioned all the usual suspects, but to no avail. If you have a clue . . . I'll take it. Agent Ash is on the mend and hunting this one down!

Question #2) Does everyone know who Ingrid Michaelson is? You should. In the past 3 days I've memorized her entire Boys & Girls album. I love the simplicity and clarity of her music. She's brilliant. My top 3 personal favorites: Corner of Your Heart, Breakable & Overboard. Check it out. Good stuff.

P.S. Does anyone have any "tried and true" methods for recuperating? I think my body has built up an immunity to Alkaseltzer Cold and NyQuil.

What's your name, what's your sign?

What are you doing this Friday evening? If you want to be a part of the cool kids club, here is where you'll be: Top-Secret Social Group

. . . but you have to RSVP so the doorman has your name and will let you in. No name, no entry!

Good luck!

Pearl, The "It" Dog of Portland

Just making sure everyone knows how much I love Pearl. For modeling inquiries, email me. She usually responds to treats and princess apparel.

Isn't she THE CUTE!

The Unabashed Week in Review

These are all the action items I either accomplished this week and/or happened. As you can see, it was a very eventful week for me!

- I finished my first non-training week at the new job. My supervisor commended me and told me I was fabulous. The Director of Marketing even wrote me an email, and I quote, "LOVE having you here." Yay me!

- One of my nearest and dearest, Heidi from Alaska, came to visit for the weekend! It was a random and impromptu visit and I was SO ECSTATIC it worked out so well. We met up on Friday night and ended up at Suki's "Karaoke Hole" by the end of the night, and I woke up with a hang-over and cold. Then on Sunday we had an early morning breakfast with Donnie and Rowan (both extremely smart and witty kids!) at Kenny & Zukes, and then I'm taking her to the airport around 5:30pm tonight. Sad, but glad we were able to catch-up- it's actually been 3 years since we've seen each other. And she had me in hysterics on Saturday night at Camellia Lounge when she was talking about how I "connect" everyone with my life. It was funny because I'm so impressed with her photo journals of travel and big changes, like backpacking through Thailand and building a new house, and feels like she can't keep up with the letters and updates I send. I guess we're both good a keeping in touch in different ways! :)

- Rhiannon and I enjoyed a breakfast at Bridges Cafe. Not only did we gab about my boy problems, her boy problems, family problems AND her 30th birthday, . . . . (we interrupt this announce to bring you a news alert)

NEWS ALERT: MARK THE DATE: Dec. 5, 6 & 7 2008. YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST. AT A CHARMING HOUSE IN NESKOWIN. THE WEEKEND WILL BE COMPRISED OF A WINE & GAMES NIGHT AND A BONFIRE & BEER NIGHT. ATTN: DO NOT TRY AND STEAL THIS DATE. IT'S ALREADY IN MY BLACKBERRY AND MY BLACKBERRY IS LAW. BACK TO OUR BREAKFAST NEWS . . .

I'm prety sure we could solve most of the world's problems over some Stumptown coffee and a bacon omelettes any given day. Seriously, we're that good.

- Sent Chainsaw one of my favorite books, "My Life in Heavy Metal" by Steve Almond, and my favorite CD of 2007, The Reminder by Feist. He received the highly prized items and sent me a cute little text. However, I am wondering why I haven't heard from him. I definitely miss our late night, marathon phone conversations. I'm hoping to hear from him soon . . .

- Met my Ryan for an early morning breakfast at Mother's. Ate the best biscuits and gravy of my life. Got caught up on everything. Promised to meet for coffee at 7:30am once a month to chat, brainstorm and support.

- Habes now has Managerial duties at Delica. I'm super excited for her, but know it's kicking her ass right now. The baby knows she's in our thoughts, and Que-Syrah and I are having a "fish" dinner this Wednesday and will be calling her amid wine giggles and squash salad to offer support. WE'RE SO PROUD OF THAT BABYGREEEEEOL! YAY!

-One last item, I attended my 2nd writing workshop class and I cannot believe I didn't do this earlier. I love my instructor and I'm continually amazed at how theraputic it is! Stay tuned for more details . . .

Some men are idiots.

While at work yesterday I was joking around with a friend over email and he admitted that he had met up and had drinks with a girl that he was hiring as a business partner in an event. He also admitted that they hit it off and she ended up going back to his place and giving him a blowjob. For some reason, this irritated me. Not that I care what he does with loose women, but I think it’s because I have a large number of good male friends who all insist they want to find “The One.” They are adamant that they want to find a secure woman with the same values and expectations they have . . .or at least, this is what they tell me, and then . .. they go out at 10pm at night to meet the caterer of their next event and then end the night with a sexual favor.

Seriously? Really? You think you’re going to find the love of your life- someone you want to settle down with and raise a family with- in a woman who gives out blowjobs to someone she’ll be working with imminently? You think there’s a future in a “wham-bam’thank-you-ma’am” hook-up? I call this practice the Monica Lewinsky Syndrome: the act of declaring you’re looking someone who understands you and unconditional love, blah, blah, blah, but actually you’re full of shit and you’re looking for instant gratification . . .and you probably have a wife stashed away at home too. I’m pulling the bullshit card.

Then I speak with another good male friend last night, let's call him Paul, and Paul tells me that he has a system for dealing with his "prospective Mrs." (Yes, unfortunately, this is what he calls them.) If he gets a "wink" from a cute girl, he'll "wink" back or chat back. If she's hot then she's definitely in. If she's "semi-okay looking" (Still not joking, he actually used all these words) then he'll still talk with her, and if she's not that attractive but on match.com that's a pretty good indictor that she gives good handjobs.

Ash Unabashed: Excuse me? Did you just say that unattractive girls on a dating service are better in bed? I'm not following your logic. And anyway, beauty is in the eye of the beholder idiot. No one thinks they're ugly. You're mean.

Paul: What?! (Said incredulously, like I was the one acting like an asshat.) Think about it. They're looking for a husband or boyfriend and since they're not that good-looking they're more inclined to perfect other skills so they can get a boyfriend. Therefore, they're usually good in bed. I could date a semi-okay (there's that word again!) looking girl if the sex was hot, but I wouldn't seriously date her.

Ash Unbashed: I thought you said you went on match.com to find a soulmate . . . I didn't realize you were in the market for an an ugly girl who gives good handjobs???!!!!!!

Paul: That's why I'm on match.com. To find someone to love.

Ash Unabashed: (Stunned and confused) Un-fucking-believable.

50 Odd Things About Me

1. I like bleu cheese only with chicken wings, or crumbles on salads, but not on burgers.

2. I've never smoked heroin.

3. I don't own a gun, but have shot a Glock.

4. I've only been to a Sonic Drive-In once in Norman, OK.

5. I always get nauseous before doctor or dentist appts.

6. I like to pour beer over hotdogs when camping. Preferably, the Beast.

7. My favorite Christmas song is, "Baby, it's cold outside." (The old version.)

8. I prefer to drink water in the morning.

9. I haven't done a push-up in years.

10. I'm considering getting a tattoo soon.

11. I have a favorite piece of jewelry. The tiny diamond pendant my Dad gave my Mom when they were dating.

12. My favorite hobby is sleeping. I'm a rockstar at sleeping.

13. I'm unlucky in love.

14. I'm clinically A.D.D.

15. I tend to make the same mistkaes over and over and never learn from them.

16. My middle name is Erin and everyone thinks I'm Irish.

17. I'm thinking I wish I could go home and take a nap right now.

18. I bought a domain name yesterday.

19. My favorite tree is the Magnolia Tree.

20. I'm currently worried I'll never fall in love with someone who will love me back.

21. I currently hate that I'm actually worried about #20.

22. My favorite place to be is snuggled in bed. Someone in there with me makes it even better.

23. I spent my New Year's Eve 2007 with my sister and with Josh. She was sick at home and he had a party that I went to for 1/2 the night.

24. I really, really, really want to visit Cuba, Cyprus and China.

25. The majority of my closest friends don't live in the same state I do.

26. I own 2 pairs of slippers.

27. I'm wearing a yellow and black dress right now and black patent heels- with tights!

28. I have red satin sheets, but I hate using them because they're so slippery and my pillows always g flying off my bed.

29. Nordy taught me how to whistle.

30. My favorite color is black.

31. I would be a pirate or piratess if I could be.

32. I usually sing female vocalist songs in the shower. Like Colbie Calliet, Michelle Branch, Dixie Chicks, Feist, etc.

33. I really like the names Talasmin and Hadleigh for girls.

34. I really like the name Chapman for a boy.

35. I have a lighter in my pocket right now.

36. Al sent me a text message that made me laugh about 1 minute ago.

37. I had flannel kitten-print bedsheets as a little girl that I adored.

38. The worst injury I've ever had (that felt the worst) was a broken heart.

39. I'm not super happy with where I live. I wish I owned a cute little house.

40. I have 2 TV's in my house and I rarely turn them on.

41. My loudest friend is named Natasha and she's a load of fun.

42. I'm not allowed to have any animals where I live. :(

43. It makes the day easier to get through if I have a crush on someone.

44. My favorite drink is a tie. I love Cosmo's and I love Maker's on the rocks, with soda and a twist of lime.

45. My favorite book is: No one belongs here more than you by Melinda July

46. My favorite candy is Reeses Pieces.

47. My favorite sports teams is tied. The Saints and The Steelers.

48. I already have my funeral planned out.

49. If all guys behaved like Brad Pitt I would be such a whore.

50. The first thing I thought when I woke up was, "I hope I have pants on and I hope no one is lying next to me."

Nothing funny about this mile-high club

Seriously. I'm so digusted. Read the story below. WHAT THE HELL? When did our social systems get so lax that no one noticed this when the poor girl slept. I'm sure she was shocked when she woke up and probably didn't know how to react to this heinous invasion of privacy and sicko pervert. It's hard to say what you would do in the same situation, but I'm pretty sure I would have started screaming and probably tried to punch the freak.

This whole sorry incident reminds me of a story. I had a friend whose mother owned a small boutique in a strip mall. Her and her sister were working together one day, and she left briefly to grab lunch for the both of them. While she was gone, and her sister was alone, a young male came into the store and began looking around. After about 15 minutes he continued to stand in one area not that far from where the sister was sitting behind the counter and register. She noticed he was staring at her and she asked him if she could help him. He didn't say anything and just kept staring and she immediately had a bad feeling. She said something to him again and he just continued staring at her . . . and that's when she realized he was jacking off! She stood up and that's when he just took off out the door. She ran over to the door, locked it, and then called the police. When they came she had to relive the entire sick experience again, and then they took DNA swabs of the "evidence" on the floor and wall. Fucking sick. This pyscho was never caught, so I'm sure he's still out there acting completely inappropriately at someone else's store. Maybe he's the dude on in this story. I just feel so bad for the women that this has happened too. It's tramatizing! :(


FROM THE SKY-LAB NEWS
March 14, 2008

Woman files lawsuit against AMR because passenger next to her masturbated while she slept
A 21-year-old Harris County woman filed a $200,000 lawsuit against American Airlines alleging employees on a flight to Los Angeles from Dallas/Fort Worth Airport failed to protect her while she slept from another passenger who masturbated to her and ejaculated in her hair, according to a lawsuit she filed last week in Tarrant County.

The Harris County woman alleges employees knew of the risks associated with failing to “police the passengers to ensure that passengers do not hurt one another,” the suit states.
Airline officials did not return calls seeking comment. In a statement to a Houston television station last year, a spokesman said the company regretted the incident, but the flight crew took appropriate action.

The woman and her lawyer could not be reached for comment. The Star-Telegram does not identify victims of sexual crimes.

Destined for a Spring Break visit with family and friends March 19, the woman flew from Houston to DFW Airport and had settled into her seat for the last leg of flight 2074 to Los Angeles about 11 p.m., the suit states. The woman slept most of the flight, but awoke about 20 minutes before landing when the pilot announced the plane was on descent into Los Angeles. When the woman opened her eyes, she saw that an unknown man had moved into the seat next to her and was staring at her as he masturbated, the suit states.

The woman turned toward the window in embarrassment and in an act of nervousness began to run her fingers through her hair where she noticed “a substantial amount of an extremely sticky substance in her hair,” the suit states.

The woman began to cry and tried to get the attention of a flight attendant, but was unsuccessful, the suit states. Finally a passenger in the row in front of the woman comforted her and verified the semen in her hair, the suit states.

When the plane landed, employee called airport police and the man was arrested.
The suit alleges that the during the investigation, American Airlines employees told police they witnessed the man move from his assigned seat into the row where the woman was sleeping.
The woman is seeking punitive damages and a jury trial.

-- Melissa Vargas

Posted at 07:27 PM in American Airlines

No flaming Irish whiskey shots for me!

I had such a fun St. Patty's day with my mom last night. I came home from work, totally exhausted, and we had a drink, changed into comfier clothes and headed out to Echo, a new restaurant in my neighborhood. When we arrived they rang a big bell and Mike, our server, was THE BEST. He's probably one of the greatest servers I've ever had the pleasure of being waited on. He seemed like an old drinking buddy I hadn't seem in awhile and he was filling us in everything that had been going on in the neighborhood and with the restaurant- like we were regulars. My favorite line was when my Mom asked if he was the owner and he said, "No, I've been here since it opened. I just pretend like I'm the owner. You know, I sit in the back and drink." Hilarious! He was a gem. I'm pretty sure I'm going back just so I can interact with him again. The Echo burger and Echo salad were pretty yummy too. And I just found out they have a HH that looks killer. WILL BE BACK TONIGHT.

I also received a call from one of my lovelies, Rhi in Pink, informing me about the state of her girlfriendness. Meaning, she's now an ex-girlfriend. She's been going through some very difficult issues and her boyfriend hasn't really been as supportive as he should have been. So- sensing his withdrawal she offered up the customary out, "I know I'm dealing with a lot of tribulations right now, if you want to take a break I understand." At which point he should have responded, "Of course not baby, we're going to get through this together, nothing can compromise our love and commitment to each other." Obviously he did not get the memo on this type of arrangement, because he responded with a mundane, "Ok, blah, blah, blah (Rhi probably quit paying attention at this point.) Seriously. Yes girls, he DID actually say that. Here poor little Rhi has lost her special Grandmother, her car now has a boo-boo, and now her jerk-boyfriend takes her up on her "break" offer. I'm totally disappointed in him. I will be creating a memo for his perusal. Obviously he needs a clue. See memo later tonight . . . .

If I could I would . . .

If I could I would . . . learn how to fall in love. I would learn how to love and be loved without holding anything back - without the excuses, stops or inevitable falls from grace. There's a point where you recognize you're about to let yourself go--- and that's when I stop. I can't do it. Because I typically know the outcome and it usually ends badly.

You try it. What is one thing that you would do if you could? It could be an event from your past that you would do over, a time you know you would stay in the moment forever, or a new dream that you have. Run with the ideas and possibilities. Good luck!

Finish this sentence:

"If I could I would . . . "

Happy Birthday Zoers!

I totally forgot to mention Zoe's birthday today! I sent her a fun e-card today and I'm hoping we'll get to connect for lunch and gossip this weekend. I miss her and hope she knows I've learned my lesson! IT'S ALWAYS HO'S OVER BRO'S!

Loves you! xoxoxo

The funny contents of my freezer

Today I decided to become a stealer. As in, I'm stealing the idea to post about the details of food and/or other various items, in my freezer from Missy over at If I Were Queen of the World. She posted the funniest picture of her freezer ingredients yesterday and I was suddenly inspired to post a list of mine too. Except that I think her freezer says that she's a fabulously single girl, swinging by the chandelier of life and my freezer exclaims, "Bitter, bitter, bitter! Single girl in need of a good man." Yikes. Oh well, I'm always down for a fun social experiment. Remember Manuary 2008?!?!?!

After you read and dissect my list, let me know what you think. After my fall from grace in the man department in the past few months, I'm beginning to think a life full of frozen strawberries, crab cakes and party ice might not be so bad.

List of freezer contents- March 11th, 2008!
-One bottle of Maker's Mark bourbon
-One bottle of Jameson Whiskey
-One bag of Trader Joe's Chicken Fried Rice
-Assorted party ice baubles
-Kona coffee
-Kauaian coffee
-Edamame
-2 Lean Cuisine
-Crab cakes
-4 chicken breasts
-Elk meat
-6# of hamburger (Umm, thanks Dad, that will last me at least a year)
-Ice cubes
-Spinach/Artichoke pastry purses
-Organic peas
-Nonfat Frozen yogurt (chocolate of course!)
-2 T-bone steaks

Did anyone else notice I have a lot of meat in my freezer? I wonder if this is my freezer’s subconscious telling me to stay away from men in general. Apparently meat equals men in my brain. It's probably a good idea (to stay aways from the male population, it usually ends badly for me). That being said, does anyone know about my new next door neighbor yet? Yep, I thought not. THAT'S BECAUSE I'M KEEPING HIM A SECRET for awhile . .. until . . . well you get the idea!

Don't look now, but Ash got a new ride!

That's right . . . you heard correctly! This weekend I went car-shopping with my the number one main man in my life (aka Dad), and we bought a new car. Well, honestly, my Dad bought me the car, but he assured me I deserved it. :)

This is the first time in my life that I've ever purchased a brand-new ride . . . and now I'm hooked. I am convinced the smell, the new floor mats, the dirt-free crevices and warranty are the best things in the entire world. How could I have lived without these essentials before??!!?!?!?!? I got the fully-loaded package and I couldn't be happier. And what is the type of car you ask? It's a BRAND NEW JEEP COMPASS! Oh sweet world- it' sooooooooooo cute. I went car-shopping with a specific car in mind, a Ford Escape, but once I test drove it, it wasn't exactly what I wanted. The Jeep Compass fits my lifestyle much better, and all the speakers, little extras, car style (compact SUV) and car color (black) make it perfect for me. The more I drive it the more I like it!

Click here to view it: Ash's 2008 Jeep Compass in BLACK!


And homies . . . . like Tupac says, "Picture me rolling!"

OBAMA-RAMA PRIMARY!

Don't miss tomorrow night's Primary! This primary race is thisclose, with Obama almost taking the lead! Two weeks ago Hilary was up several points and now it's neck and neck! This event could potentially put Barack over the mark for campaign advantage. There are 370 delegates up for grabs . . . . here's hoping my man Barack gets them all!

Click here to find a Primary Watch Party near you: Barack's Big Primary Parties in Oregon!

Partying the night away with the 'Portland Real Estate Industry Social' crowd

(Sidenote: Before I get into a more fun and frivolous topic, on a serious note, one of my best friends, Rhi in Pink, lost her Grandma this past week. Rhi and her G-ma were very close and this has been a difficult time for her and her family. Rhi is taking solace in the knowledge that her Grandma is now in a better place and with her Grandfather. If you have a moment, please send her your best wishes, or if you've gone through a similar experience, leave her a note on her comments section. Sometimes it helps others to hear they have comrades that have struggled through these circumstances too. No one likes to feel alone. All my love and support go to Rhi! LOVE YOU!)

On a lighter note, last night JL hosted the Portland Real Estate Industry Social, and it was MAJOR FUN! We're talking THE MAJOR here. JL looked handsome, urban and was the . . . .(what's opposite of "belle?" Bon? Boy?) . . . . ok, Boy of the Ball! He was in prime form and networking his head off! He loved it. I could tell. I KNOW him. On the other side of the coin, I socialized my pin-straightened-head-of-hair off too! JL had organized the event with great detail. He had an art installation, a great wine selection, Blue Heron beer, mood-lighting by the way of 74 votive candles scattered everywhere, passed appetizers and a fun netowrking game. No wonder the attendees didn't want to leave! :)

The night before JL and I attended a swank event at The Casey and chatted happily with our good friend, JS. I've decided JS is one of the most fun boys I've ever met, so as you can imagine, I was SO EXCITED he attended JL's party. One of the highlights of the night was chatting with him. I also spoke with HS, a casual aquaintance before last night, and PR maven of Portland. (Have decided she is THE FUN.) Her soon-to-be hubby, Ce-Zar! (must be said with zeal and depth) was there and he is quite the talker too- what a great couple. I also loved that the more tipsy Miss K got, the more promotion she undertook. She couldn't speak highly enough of JL, the catering company The Good Mule, and everyone who she could spot. Love that girl.(Ummm, did anyone else become a mini-pastry-puff-BLT-fiend? Those were like crack- I couldn't get enough. Yum!)

I also adored the part when the lights were turned on, all the "hanger-onners" were asked to leave and the last 12 of us packed it in . . . . and ran over to Paragon to continue celebrating! Yay! How cute are we! And then JS and I got into the best discussion: Who has the best rosemary french fries in Portland? PARAGON!

Seriously, loves-loved-love last night. Can't wait until the next shin-dig. Stay tuned for details . . . I'll post them soon!